Nik Newark

Theme : Oh No! It's The Plantagenets!

Theme : Gunslinger

Theme : 006 Club Card James Bond is a character that's been swishing about in my subconscious for a few years now, from the days of hanging around in executive lounges with businessmen who wanted to think of themselves as impossibly suave and jetset (but really they were worried about getting enough points to retain their British Airways Executive Gold Tier status, so they could, you know, get free biscuits and stuff).

Once native to this fine land, the beaver roamed the rivers and streams of Great England until the 16th century, when it was hunted to extinction for fur, meat, and secretory castoreum. Over the course of the current century a few brave souls have sought to resurrect the beaver to its former glory and restore Great England's natural heritage. This is their story...

Vocals by Eva, Words and Music by Nik

A Gorilla with a PhD

Theme : Bazinga!

Theme : Ooga Looga Wyma Ryma. (Yes, really)

Saturday Night Panda

Theme : Prove it

Theme : "No Way Steve" STEVE: I know a girl called Michelle, I’ve been seeing her I meet her in a hotel, and her friend Annabel’s there as well, I don’t know her so well But she works as a secretary somewhere down on Chancery Lane Down town going down going anyway They’re never gonna find out Cos my girlfriend called Claire (who wasn’t there) But she’s giving me stares Yeah she’s staring at me, and giving me grief And then she says:- CLAIRE: No way Steve I believe you’ve been hanging with the girls on Chancery Lane And if it happens again, I’ll complain, if it happens again If it happened it happened and baby that is what Annabel said No way Steve I believe you’ve been drinking with the girls on Chancery Lane STEVE: And so I said "No way Claire I wasn’t there, guess it must have been someone a little like me But I couldn’t have been who she’s seen, it just couldn’t have been What she saw was a doppelgänger, and Annabel was probably hammered" CLAIRE : Alright Steve I believe what you’re telling me There’s someone else who can tell I can ask her as well There’s this girl and her name is Michelle She’s a legal secretary and I’ll call her up if necessary STEVE: "Slow down Claire, don’t go there, keep your knickers on!" But then she picks up the phone And she calls up Michelle, bloody hell, it’s not going so well And I’m feeling well stressed 'bout what Michelle says But then she says MICHELLE: I don’t believe that Steve is ever gonna Break your heart and deceive He wears his heart on his sleeve and it seems, well especially to me He don’t need your grief, it’s what I believe And that is that! CLAIRE: Alright Michelle, you as well, well bloody hell, It could’ve been somebody else But it could have been Steve I believe that he’s lying to me If he’s lying he’s trying to dig himself out of a hole Cos there’s no way Steve wasn’t there I’d know him anywhere, even on Chancery Lane And if it happens again, I’ll complain if it happens again If it happened it happened and baby that is what Annabel said No way Steve I believe you’ve been drinking with the girls on Chancery Lane STEVE: And so I said "No way Claire I wasn’t there, guess it must have been someone a little like me But I couldn’t have been who she’s seen, it just couldn’t have been What she saw was a doppelgänger, and Annabel was probably hammered"

A traditional folk song from Wales, with a twist. Fiddles by Sally Merson. Singing by Eve Toothbrushes and other noises by Nik www.niknewarkmusic.com

In which the Duke of York denies having ever been to Pizza Express

Theme : This week, I'm coming "Out beyond the edges"

Only The Best

A farm hand tries to woo a dairy maid...

Based on the theme "Laughter is the greatest medicine of all"

Arthur Foxgloves and Sylvanus Urban adventure through the sands of time

Theme : AOK

All images created with Midjourney.